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Jibun Kakumei -2008- [entries|friends|calendar]

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Waifu list for my peeps [14 Nov 2015|06:07pm]
[ mood | Content ]

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So yeah [22 May 2008|05:25am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I know I said earlier that I was going to try to wipe clean my friends list to just people that are still around and posting and stuff, but it's just such a pain for me to do right now. I need to unsubscribe to a lot of communities, too. But it's five thirty in the morning and I don't feel like doing that right now. Plus, I'm posting this on my dumb little screen on my laptop. Someone took my laptop off of the chair where I keep it so I can look things up in the living room, and then my brother stepped on it, so it's all sorts of messed up. If you've ever played the .hack//G.U. games, it looks sort of like my computer has been infected with AIDA. For those of you who haven't played the games, it's just annoying.

There was a time a few weeks ago when I was so totally excited and was mailing with a younger girl in Tokyo, but I think things have gotten busy for her so I haven't heard from her in, like, a month. Just as things freed up for me.

As well as having lost the internet for a little while, I have no phone at the moment. I am virtually unreachable. But, last weekend was ACEN and I had fun. I didn't get any autographs or anything, but I partied in the elevators with other con goers and went to a variety of panels. I didn't cosplay, but I was on the lookout for anyone from Neuro and I found a handful of Yakos walking around. My brother said he saw a Neuro, but I was sleeping in the car when he saw him and my idiot of a brother didn't think to take my camera with him.

GYA! They totally had the directors cut special edition Tales of Destiny game for the PS2 at ACEN, but it was $100! I wanted it so badly, though. My brother and I thought of combining our money for it, but then we wouldn't have had money for food. :D Tales of Innocence was also there, but I didn't see it until after I bought myself some doujinshi so I didn't have the money for it. Not like I own a Nintendo DS anyway, I just use my brother's.

And yesterday, I totally went to go see the Death Note movie in the theater nearby. It was actually a lot more crowded in there than I had expected. I was really surprised that it was dubbed, but the dub actors actually do a really good job in the anime and they didn't disappoint me in the movie, either. Although like my friend said, it was a little weird when the voices don't exactly match the actors used in the movie.

In other news, I found all sorts of old oekaki of mine the other day on a disk on my floor. I was like 'score!' and loaded it up immediately. Now, I'm a little depressed. It seems like I could draw better several years ago than I can now. At the very least, I wasn't the little pansy that I am these days. I tried different poses even if I didn't think they would work out. If only I had that sort of motivation now!

Whee longpost! But it's been a LONG time since I last posted here so it's to be expected, right? Not that it would be much shorter even if I had posted the other day, before I lost the internet.

And I want to see Speed Racer! The worse the movie is, the happier I'll be. It's just the dork in me. I was practically raised on that show, and it's terrible (not that I don't still watch it when I have the chance or anything). So, if the movie is terrible I'll be happy. Plus, Rain is in it and I absolutely love me some Rain.

And again, Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro is absolute love. I want to read more of the manga, but by the time I had steeled my resolve to buy manga 14 it had disappeared! What jerk out there thought that they had the right to steal MY Neuro out from under my very nose! I can only read so much of it scanlated, so I wanted to at least flip through the manga. It seemed like there was a fight between Neuro and Sai in that one! I wanted to see it!

Mitsuwa was packed with people from ACEN, so it was hard to come across anything you really wanted unless you got there early...which I didn't. I wanted to leave around noon but it turns out we didn't leave until closer to three. Seriously, how can one person spend so long in Artists Alley? I just don't understand...

But I got me some delicious melon bread with chocolate chips instead of manga, so I guess it was a fair enough trade.

I'm done rambling. <3

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Wow. Hi. [01 Apr 2008|04:42am]
[ mood | tired ]

So...yeah. Hi there journal. It's been a while, hasn't it? ^^; There's never really anything worth noting in my life, so I just haven't bothered keeping up with you. Just writing that there's nothing to write is fairly tiresome and annoying after a while, and there was a time I wasn't really surfing the internet like I used to do. But now I'm kind of back. Maybe. Just a little.

I know this might sound arrogant or stuff, but it's been a long time since I last posted here, so anyone on my friends list that remembers me and still wants to read my brand spanking new posts, please post here. Some people have deleted journals that I have them friended under and I'm sure a few of you have just stopped writing in your journals like I did, so I'd like to be able to clean my friends list of people who don't remember me or won't see my posts anyway--or if you just don't like me anymore (LOL).

There's a lot to say--it's been a long time--but I'm tired and don't feel like saying it right now. As you can tell, it's going on five in the morning. I'll pass on detailed updates for now.

Although I must have my obligatory fangirl moment:
Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro is amazing.

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Fangirl, plz [27 Aug 2006|10:43am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I saw the Fullmetal Alchemist movie in theaters yesterday! It doesn't get any cooler than that!

And now I'm going to disappear for another eternity.

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Tales of Destiny [15 Jun 2006|09:28pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Tales of Destiny = teh suck.

I was saddened by most of the game, but from the multiplexed lense cannon until the end, death seemed like a much happier choice than completing the game. WHY MUST THAT GAME BE SO FUCKING SAD?!

Tales spoilersCollapse )

...and yes, Tales of Destiny has started to control my life.

5 comments|post comment

Quick news [09 Feb 2006|02:47am]
[ mood | tired as all hell ]

Brother is probably coming home today!

I can finally beat Kingdom Hearts again, and help finish off body-parts game!

I missed having Gary home.

3 comments|post comment

Kyou Kara Maou! update [07 Feb 2006|12:49am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

episode 73 > episode 75 > episode 60 > episode 59 > everything.

That having been said, I have another week of kicking myself waiting for the next episode. This episode also, officially, won Greta the "god damn cutest child to ever exist in an anime" award. Nothing cuter than a depressed little girl petting the baby's head to make her stop crying.

I would post more on the episode, but I do think I'm farther than most everyone else I know that watches this series. XD I'm still waiting for Gary to come home so that I can make him watch episode 59. God I love that episode.

Miyavi's new singles = sex!

I thought I should mention that.

edit: I went into this show thinking it would be something cute I could get into. Now I have the calender on my wall and am desperate to keep up with Japan on episodes. It's turned out to actually be just a damn good series.

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As I promised [06 Feb 2006|11:34am]
[ mood | cranky ]

Like I said, this week has been fucking hell for me. My brother has been in the hospital since the 30th, and they can't tell what it was that sent him there. At first they were telling us that it was a possible heart attack or a blood clot in his lungs (which can be fatal). Now he's in there with pneumonia, and mom said that they think he may be internally bleeding now. It's like every time he starts to get better something new comes up and he can't come home. I spend my days at school, with my brother, and sleeping. It's a really fun life, let me tell you.

As if that wasn't enough, I have to deal with the coming Valentine's Day. It's no secret that I detest this holliday with every fucking bone in my body. It's a waste of money, and it's pointless. It basically puts pressure on the material value for attraction. Why in the world would you promote that shallowness? Grr!

Basically, my life has been run ragged by my brother's hospital stay. There are people, however, who can't seem to understand that this is a point in my life where I need support, not melodrama and guilt. My stepmother already thinks that everything that happens to my brother is my fault because I "dominate" him. I don't need people pissing me off. I'm very close to killing someone, maybe myself. I freaking hate all of this, and I'm pissed that there's no one to take my anger out on. Don't you dare get in my face and give me someone to shove my rage on. I am not handling this well, and I don't want people being mad at me for stupid shit and fucking up my life some more.

GAH! Stupid life! GRR! Ever since Sean left me I've been trying to live a life without regrets, because I delt with enough hate in my life because of him. Don't make me regret being myself anymore. This stupid world sucks. What I need now is a group of friends, not a bunch of people looking out for their own interests and using me to achieve them.

I'm tired and I just want to sleep until everything with my brother fixes itself. Sadly, I don't have that option. Don't make me regret not trying. I've considered it, sleeping until my brother comes home. I know life doesn't work that way, but it's a lot better than trying to deal with all of this shit by myself. My life is screwed up enough without people adding to that stress.

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Bleh [06 Feb 2006|09:12am]
[ mood | cranky ]

This has been the week of hell. HELL, I tell you. I'll update at school later today.

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Because I'm an anime whore [28 Nov 2005|03:36pm]
[ mood | bored ]

anime~!Collapse )

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I'm a whore [25 Nov 2005|10:30pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Just thought you would all like to know that. Finally caught up on journal entries because I had a friend over Tuesday night and I'm lazy like woah. Supposed to be doing something with my friends, but I don't wanna call them because dammit I don't want to spend any more of my free minutes. Why can't it be a weekend~!? Freaking out because I want more Kyou Kara Maou but my laziness prevents me from downloading the raws. I could probably understand it if I really tried, but I'm too damn lazy and I'd be pausing every couple of sentences to translate it a little more correctly, rather than speed through.

T_T Dammit I wish I was fluent!

I think I'm going to call after all, because that's the way I am. Played Princess Maker 2 again last night. I upped her morality to be perfect and she STILL turned out to be someone's mistress. What the hell?!

Saw my friends on Wednesday, saw Corpse Bride again. When I went out with my dad, we ate and then...saw Corpse Bride again. I love that movie, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.

I'm actually running out of things to say, so I think I'll stop this now. Love ya'll!

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WOAHMIGAWD weeked + rant [21 Nov 2005|04:33pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

It's been a while since I wrote down the stuff that's been happening with me, but I've been kind of busy. First of all, Kristen came over after classes were over on Thursday because she was going with us to the OK Go concert and she lives way out in the middle of nowhere, so it was just easier for us. We talked about stuff and stayed up later than we should have. Watched a lot of Kyou Kara Maou! because all of us are pretty much addicted. I'll be forcing it down another friend's throught over break. I love this show, no matter what other people might think.

On Friday we left around noon-ish and went to Mitsuwa. I got some Christmas shopping done for my brother, and bought the Winry soundfile for myself, and a Tsubasa Chronicles anime fanbook. It's tiny but I love it so very much. After that we ate (and I was pissed because the menu said tempura but it was tendou). Hung out a while and then we headed for Tower Records to see their show there and meet with OK Go, but we got lost and just went straight to the show when we managed to find ourselves again. Yahoo directions fucking suck. Just thought you should all known that.

We weren't in bad places in the concert, really. We started off with maybe three people ahead of us, and ended up with more like ten, but I could still see them pretty damn well. Took some pictures, took some videos, drooled like mad and had a blast. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my time than to go to that concert. It hadn't even hit me that I was actually watching OK Go live until the second opening band was finished. It was just so fucking surreal. The concert itself was TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME! I can't even describe how much I loved it. I'm pissed that I couldn't get the stupid dance on tape, but they have them doing the dance on their site. Too bad it's not the exact same, though, because something about Damian in a bright flowery shirt dancing to this and looking like total hell made it better.

Plus, then you have the 'OMG I remember seeing that live!' sort of attachment to it.

It still amuses me. Go to Okgo.net and watch their million ways dance. It amuses me so much. Although, maybe it's better if you were actually there for it. I don't know. It was greatness. I've now dragged others down with me into an OK Go-loving pit.

The rest of the weekend was pretty mellow, but I was hanging out with people and playing around with my new cell phone. Nothing beats spending hours trying to figure out how to download a picture onto your phone. I finally managed and now I have a picture of Yuuri and Wolfram as my background. Yummeh.

All right. Now that that's been said, there's something Kyou Kara Maou!-related that I really need to bitch about, because it's fucking driving me insane! I love everything about this show, from the plot to the character development.

However, I fucking hate Conrart

reasons and spoilersCollapse )

I feel better now. ^_^

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Stupid shit that I love so much [17 Nov 2005|11:43am]
[ mood | content ]

<td align="center">Fun is most important in your life.

Having a high focus on fun indicates that you value your own enjoyment over anything else. And there is nothing wrong with that. Your motto is we're here for a good time - not a long time.

Life Piechart - QuizGalaxy.com
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

"Intellectually" Intelligent

You're 'Intellectually Intelligent.' That pretty much means that you're good with theoretical ideas and concepts - but this comes to you naturally. More or less, you're a natural brainiac. Good for you.

20% theoretical intelligence
60% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

And now, since I commented...

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me.
It can only be one word.
No more.
Then copy and paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.
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Bad news [15 Nov 2005|11:33am]
[ mood | cynical ]

There's nothing quite like the constant bombardment of bad news that has served as my life so far this week. My life is going perfectly well, all things considered, but I'm constantly finding out about problems that my friends are having and that I'm powerless to stop. There's nothing that could get to me more than what I heard from Jess, and I'm still in a bit of shock as to what happened to one of my other friends.

Meanwhile, I'm safe at home watching Kyou Kara Maoh! with my brother and not really having much to worry about.

This has been a shitty semester.

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Princess Maker 2 [23 Oct 2005|02:00am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So I'm now obsessed with Princess Maker 2 because of the people in J-Club. Dammit. However, I kick ass at this game so that's okay.

The stats for my ULTIMATE daughter.

My score was 730 for her.

Kazahaya HimuraCollapse )

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No, I'm not dead. [16 Oct 2005|03:32am]
[ mood | tired ]

I know I haven't updated in a long time but really I've been kind of enjoying life with as little of a documentation as I can get away with. Things are up, things are down, and I just kind of deal with it as it comes. Some things are shit and others are wonderful, but that's okay. I'm trying my hardest to deal with it as best as I can, although I do admit that I have my breakdowns.

My family dips in and out of a lack of money, so right now I haven't had my medicine in about a week. I'm not feeling so great and I keep thinking about Sean. I've found someone else I like, but sadly he reminds me a lot of Sean...just without some of the parts that make me hang my head. Sadly, that's the way things were with Sean at first, too, so I'm a little afraid of doing anything about it. Being around said person makes me nervous and depressed, which is a stupid way to feel around a crush. I'll figure this all out somehow, though. I think I will, anyway. I hope I will.

I'm really enjoying being out of high school, although school is still school. I've actually managed to make some new friends, which is different for me. I'm not good with people, so I don't often end up interacting with people. Those people that I do get to know I meet through others. I suppose it kind of worked that way in this case, too, but not so much so. It's just the fact of being in the same place at the same time, a lot of times.

I don't know. It's nice to think that I'm not completely lacking in social skills. Maybe that necklace I bought has helped some. My grades stone hasn't, though. I'm still a lazy slacker and I'm not really doing that hot in my classes...except for Japanese and maybe English. I know I'm doing pisspoor in History class, and I'm doing all right, I think, in Psychology. I actually enjoy that class, but I haven't actually read this last chapter recently and I have a test on Monday. I'm going to have a lot of reading to do over the weekend, and I'm not so sure that I'll do it all. Damn that lazy side of me. I can be motivated, I'm just not!

I've been working a lot on my drawing. I really want to practice and improve, although I feel as of late I've been taking steps backwards instead of forwards. I still can't draw characters doing much more than standing there, and when I try they always end up looking really stupid. At least they're somewhat in proportion, though. They're better than they were when I was in junior high school, and that makes me feel happy.

Actually...I got into a fight with my mom last weekend and during it I ended up finding some pictures from either two years ago or four. I can't remember. I know it was in either Precalc or Geo that I was writing and drawing that stuff. I think it was four years ago. It was surprisingly bad, so I actually started getting a feeling that I wasn't horrible, and that although I couldn't see it happening, I was improving.

I've grown obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist, especially the movie. My mother bought me a magazine that featured the movie and it came with a poster for it. Oh my god, I cannot wait for the Hagaren boys to be decorating the walls of my room. I just have to make room for it, first. I have a Loveless poster next to me, which I adore. The art is so pretty, and Ritsuka looks so cute. Soubi, of course, is incredibly hot. I've also gotten really into anime music videos again, since one of my friends used to download a ton of them when we were on break between classes. I've found a lot of freaking awesome music from them (like this song).

So...yeah. I suppose that's basic proof that I'm still alive, and what has been going on in my life. My mom and I were talking that soon I'm going to resize my engagement ring to fit on my middle finger and fix up the ring from my aunt so that it actually fits on my pinky finger. I can't wait! My jewelry will actually fit, my engagement ring will no longer be an engagement ring, and I'll no longer feel tied to Sean!

I still love him, but I don't think I could ever face him again. Even if I could, I don't think I could ever take him back. I want so badly to curl up in his arms, but I know better. I know I'm just going to end up hurt in the end when it comes to him, and so I can never go back.

I just wish he'd stop fucking with any and all new relationship hopes of mine.

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I return for one singular post [10 Oct 2005|06:33pm]
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
psychogurlie goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as your mom.
bam2 gives you 6 light yellow grape-flavoured jawbreakers.
buff gives you 12 dark green raspberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
ebbii gives you 7 dark green blueberry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
gacktyougirl tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
kinglerer gives you 13 pink lime-flavoured nuggets.
kiryuu1 tricks you! You get a block of wood.
kxo gives you 8 mottled green raspberry-flavoured gumdrops.
patosan gives you 3 red cola-flavoured gumdrops.
sarri_chan tricks you! You get a wet rag.
the_undead tricks you! You lose 36 pieces of candy!
psychogurlie ends up with 12 pieces of candy, a block of wood, and a wet rag.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

I still hate school, but it's much better than high school. Hahah!
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Fscking wiped computer [05 Jul 2005|10:28am]
[ mood | blank ]

Anyone anyone anyone have any of these songs or PVs or whatnot that they'd be willing to give me? This is only a dent in the music I used to have on this computer and was lost in the wiping of the drive. I will be eternally grateful for any of this music back~!

SongsCollapse )

PVsCollapse )

I made a dent! I'll be deleting and updating this later, but right now it's fine as is. For my reference when I go downloading.

T_T I'm not going to be reading livejournals for a while now. There's just so much to be done and whatnot...

Thank you all so much! I'm sorry I'm such a wreck.

11 comments|post comment

I'm back! [30 Jun 2005|05:53am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

It feels really weird, and I haven't had a chance to catch up with some of what I missed (yeah, I haven't even started), but it really feels like I haven't been gone at all. Everything that happened in Japan seems like a really long dream, and it really feels as if I've only been away from home for a couple of hours. Since arriving in Japan we had very little time to sit or time to ourselves at all, and when we did we all scattered like bugs and went shopping. I swear, out of the fifteen days I was there I only sat for a good ten hours all together (not counting laying down to sleep, of course, or train rides since I was either unconcious or still moving).

You cannot find a freaking Dr. Pepper to drink in all of Japan outside of Nakano, I swear. I couldn't find a single one after we left Tokyo, but we returned to Nakano and there are four of them right within a block or two of each other. Come on people!

I have all of 47 yen left, sad ain't it? There's so much to tell but really I don't feel like writing it all down right now. I just got home around nine yesterday night, and I'm a little bit tired. I don't think I could sleep though. There's just so much to do and experience and get used to again. I was just starting to get used to typing with a Japanese keyboard when we headed back home (yes, I did shell out some money now and then so I could write people e-mails and the like).

Turns out behind me in line at customs to get into Japan, there was a famous Korean guy behind me. According to anyone who actually saw him (I was too busy dragging my luggage), he looked almost exactly like Se7en. Ohmigosh that would have been so cool! That's only the beginning of my really awesome stories, but I must say after Japan I really appreciate the feel of a cold toliet seat. That thing freaked me out every time I had to go to the bathroom.

Bought tons of stuff, most of it pretty lame. I have charms up all over the place, a few seed necklaces, a seed bracelet, some prayer beads, and a whole ton of DVDs CDs and magazines. I mean, really, I stocked up on as many backissues of Shoxx and PatiPati and Fools Mate as I could afford (with Gackt and Miyavi on the cover, naturally). Bought quite a few presents for my family, especially my little brother, and spoiled myself rotten. I bought a polyester yukata and a silk kimono at a store in Kyoto. They're both a really light purple and absolutely gorgeous. Too bad I still don't have an obi or anything like that for them. I guess that's next on my list of too girly things to buy.

Missed Loveless terribly when I was in Japan (which is sad but true). Now that I'm home in the States, though, I miss the childrens' programming. I mean, there was some crazy stuff on television early in the morning there. Got a picture of what has to be the most hillariously strange thing out there--a little happy smiling condom complete with a little happy smiling vibrator girlfriend cartoon--stuck on the door of a little porn shop in Nakano. I just couldn't help myself.

I know I said I didn't want to write everything down right now, so imagine how much more I still have to tell! It feels like so short a time we were there, but I do remember every time we got settled we were packing up and moving to another city. That's just the way it is, though. There was really no helping it.

We're all of the mindset that if we never see another train in the next couple of months we'll be happy, happy people. Almost finished my Yami no Matsuei collection, bought #1-5 of Loveless (and I've read #1-most of 4 in two days), and found a T.M.R-e manga and two L'Arc~en~Ciel manga in Shiojiri when I was shopping with my host family. Of course, I bought them.

On that subject--what do you guys think of the new L'Arc CD? I ADORE it. I mean, absolutely adore! Yep, still lots to tell, like about the perverted old lady and the weird drunk guys following us around, the little school children waving and singing, and the gaijin experience on the train.

It was great, but weird. Everything was so like back home, but so different. I suppose part of it has to do with living in a little city, but it was weird to walk across the street to a couple malls and a ton of vending machines. The fact that I spoke very little of their language didn't help me out there any, either.

and on a last note--

Panya are heaven. I lived on their bread for at least a week.

Now I think I'm going to go bother other people. Later!

4 comments|post comment

[14 Jun 2005|02:29am]
[ mood | tired ]

In two hours I'll be on a bus heading to Chicago, from where my plane leaves for Japan. It's creepy now that it's so close, and baby needed to take a nap because she was running out of energy. >:O I wasn't done with you! Dammit! I have all of my L'Arc~en~Ciel, Gackt, Miyavi, and Pierrot stuff on there, but I have stacks of CDs I was going to transfer onto her that I just don't have time for anymore.

Oh well.

Since I'll be gone until around July, or July, I probably won't catch up after I get back. There will be just too many entries to read, but I love you all.

I'll miss you all so much while I'm in Japan, seriously.

I didn't sleep today, that way I can sleep on the bus and plane and hopefully not suffer jet lag. That and I was trying to keep up with baby/deal with my cousin. She's an energetic little brat that wears me down like mad, but I love her.

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